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Let’s see. I’ve watched Donnie Darko a few times now. I plan on watching it some more. I saw Napoleon Dynamite with some friends on Monday. Both movies need reviews. I don’t really know how well I could write an entry on Donnie Darko though.
I’ve been playing a lot of Dark Alliance lately. I could talk more about it, but I won’t now.
I’ve been feeling really stressed lately although I’m not sure why. I think it’s partly because of this damn network not working. It also has to do with my dad. We fight a lot, which is my fault a lot too. Still, I feel like he’s so confused and stupid. And he acts as if it’s my fault the network doesn’t work right and expects me to be able to fix it all. The more stressed I get, the shorter I get with my brother and dad too. I really shouldn’t be complaining because I know I’m a lazy, unprotective loser. I’m not going to school this summer, I haven’t been doing UCI paperwork, I haven’t taken any placement tests, I don’t have a job, I haven’t been trying to get my license. I can’t help but feel stressed though.
I’ve spent most of my free time the last few days sitting on my bed listening to the Postal Service, No Doubt, and Garbage. They’re… um… I don’t really know what I want to say there. Just pretend I said something about the three bands with general good feeling. Lately I’ve been getting this weird feeling/memory. Last night, while playing Dark Alliance, the fan reminded me of a voice I heard. I could start to hear the voice in my head, but it was faint and sort of far away, slurring… I couldn’t make anything out. It’s not really that I’m hearing a voice… it’s more that the noise from the fan was making me remember this voice. When I’m being reminded of the voice, I can remember more about it. But when it goes away, I can’t remember what I remembered. General bad feelings… I know that. The way my memory works in this case is sort of like that of a dream. After a dream, you can remember general feeling but not detail sometimes. It’s sort of like that. Perhaps the voice was from a dream, and noises in real life remind me of the dream. I don’t know. When I get really stressed out lately, I want to get violent. I want to smash something expensive or get in a fight or something. I don’t know how to release this energy… I can’t actually break anything expensive… and I can’t just go punch someone. I ended up sitting on the couch shaking today.
I did go out for a little bit today though. I had like $7 in nickels and dimes and $5 or so dollars in cash… but I had to save money for bowling. Luckily, my dad gave me $23 today. Dev took a bus down here and then we went to eat, walk, and talk. It was nice to get out and chill with a friend. I’m looking forward to bowling twelve hours from now.
Dedicated to Herbert:
So I’m just kickin’ it.
I’m counting the days.
I hardly can wait for us to hang out.
I’m really missin’ it in so many ways.
I anticipate us making out.
<3 Saturday I'm going to see Karsh Kale in LA Saturday. Looking forward to that too. Okay, I think I'll go play Dark Alliance for a bit.