Author Archives: TheUser

John Dies at the End

Last week I finished John Dies at the End by David Wong (a pseudonym of Jason Pargin), a comedy horror novel about Dave and John, two losers who end up being forced to be heroes. While going through three major arcs, the idea behind the book is best explained by the setup of the first arc. There’s a drug called Soy Sauce that gives people incredibly heightened senses. Users can practically read minds based on observable clues (similar to the crumb of cake in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy). The side-effect to Soy Sauce is that it gives you the ability to see things related to the paranormal. These things, presumably, are around us but not normally visible.Because John and Dave are the only ones able to interact with this other layer of reality, it’s up to them to stop the big bad guys.

I’ve never really read any horror novels, so I’m not sure how to compare it. There are movies that would freak me out to read alone, but I don’t think the book would really do that to me. However, I guess I was always reading it with people around or in broad daylight on the street. (I like to read while walking.) The humor probably helps, especially because it isn’t very intellectual humor. The story is told by Dave while John can act very immature, reciting puns in the face of mortal danger and always being quick to make a penis joke. Still, I will admit to getting a little freaked thinking about the book when alone and in the dark. Then again, that happens to me anyways.

For the first half of the book (or maybe more), the novel seems incredibly disjointed. The novel not only has Dave jumping around as he tells it, but there’s are scenes at the beginning and end that exist outside of his retelling as well. By the end of the novel, it really does come together. That doesn’t mean that all questions are answered, however. Many answers are supplied, some are suggested, and others remain. I guess you could consider that appropriate in a tale of so many paranormal subjects.

Remember what I was saying about the humor? Here’s a link.

Fuck that idea like the fucking captain of the Thai Fuck Team fucking at the fucking Tour de Fuck.

A movie based on the novel was recently released on some digital distribution networks with a limited theater release later this month. In addition, a sequel is also available called This Book Is Full Of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don’t Touch It that was released in October. I found the book very engaging and funny with a ton of crazy one-liners. Surprisingly, some of the paranormal ideas seemed incredibly interesting to me as well. I gave the novel a five out of five on Goodreads.

How I Met Your Mother season 7

I finished watching season 7 of How I Met Your Mother recently. The show’s still going strong. The season opened with references to Barney’s wedding, and the season chugs along showing us how he gets there. Season 6 opened a closed with the wedding as well. The opening made it seem like Ted was getting married, while we discovered at the end that it was Barney’s wedding. Season 7 opened with the same, and ended without actually getting to that moment. It surprised me a bit that two seasons could be capped with the wedding, but I suppose the whole thing is one tale of how Ted met his wife anyways.

What’s important to me is that it hasn’t bored me yet. More than that, it hasn’t annoyed me. Scrubs was my favorite show for the longest time, yet the characters never grew. Throughout the show, there were times in which JD seemed to grow, but he would just revert. In How I Met Your Mother, we see many characters actually grow. They all seem to be growing towards mature adults. Even Barney, who is still used as a player who objectifies women, has grown out of that. They do a great job of keeping that style of Barney comedy while allowing him to change.

I just hope Ted ends his story before the show is cancelled.

CES 2013: The experience

I already made a separate post about what I saw at CES. I also wanted to write about my experience. First, the food was delicious. We had lunch at the Burger Bar, and I had a buffalo burger. I don’t eat buffalo very often, and it was definitely tasty. Now there was a down side. Either that buffalo made me very sick, or something earlier did, but I was fine before I ate the buffalo.

I started to have an upset stomach at CES. At one point I was looking at convertible laptops/tablets when I completely lost my balance. I grabbed on to my friend for balance, apologized, and waited to regain my balance. When I did, I started to walk toward my group to tell them I was going back to the hotel. It should have been a 30 second walk. I few seconds later I started losing my balance again, so I stopped and leaned against a display. Eventually I reached my friends, told them I was going to go back to the hotel, and asked them where the restroom was.

I started to make way to the restroom as I began to lose my balance again. I walked with my hand against the wall to keep my sense of direction. Then my vision began to get blurry, and a white spot appeared slightly to the right of center. It spread, and after a few seconds, I couldn’t see at all. I leaned against the wall for a minute as my vision came back. I began to wonder if the convention staff would kick me out thinking I was drunk. Why wasn’t I worried about my vision? I don’t know. Anyways, eventually I made it to the bathroom, and I won’t go into any more details. However, the two days in Vegas were pretty bad.

Let’s go back to food though. I was feeling a little better that night, so I still went out with the group. We ate at the Bally’s Steakhouse. They brought everyone shots to start before even taking orders. The food itself was delicious. I had lamb chops, broccoli, macaroni and cheese, and a salad. Like the buffalo, I don’t eat lamb very often, so it was delicious.

That was Thursday. It’s Sunday now, and I’m still not feeling 100%. Luckily I haven’t had the vision problems again, which was the part I was most worried about.

CES 2013: The show

The Consumer Electronics Show 2013 was last week, and it was my second year attending. Like last year, I swear the most common products weren’t very innovative or new at all. Every corner of the show seemed filled with speakers, headphones, iPhone and iPad cases, and iPhone and iPad docks.

Of course, there were some other things too. First, thanks to Windows 8 there were a variety of new form factors of laptops/tablets. These included slide out laptops/tablets, laptops that fold over backwards, and laptops with screens that swivel within their frame. To be honest, they felt similar, and none of them felt 100% right. I suspect we’ll see some more iterations on these until something catches on.

I also saw the ability to turn many devices into things that were a bit superfluous. I want my devices to do their jobs. While adding additional functionality seems like a benefit, if I already have another device that does that job better, then I don’t need the new one.

TVs were big this year too of course. A variety of companies had 4K TVs. You can definitely tell the difference between 1080p and 4K, but it’s no where near worth the price yet in my opinion. Of course, I just got an HD TV for the first time, so obviously I don’t care about that very much. Sony had a TV on display that used glasses to show two separate images to different people. This allowed people to play a two player PS3 game on one TV with each player seeing a full screen. That seemed cool (but not worth wearing glasses). Sony also showed off their Vitas. It’s a nice little device, but the controls just don’t feel good to me.

The only thing this year that really impressed me (although not new this year) were OLED TVs. They have such a vibrant, clear picture. I’d rather have a 1080p OLED TV than a 4K non-OLED TV. However, some companies were showing 4K OLED TVs. Now that’s cool.

The little giraffe

There once was a giraffe. He was quite little. He was brown. He had a short neck. And he had a big, bushy tail.

The little giraffe lived in a tree and a good life. The only thing that upset him was that he fought with his mom a lot. She tried to force him to be someone he wasn’t.

One afternoon the little giraffe set out to eat some leaves as giraffes do. He stood on his hind legs on a branch to reach the nearest leaves and began to munch them. His mom called out “honey, stop eating those leaves. Come eat some nuts!”

“Leave me alone, mom!” he replied. “I am a giraffe, and I eat leaves!”

“You’re a squirrel! Eat your nuts!”

“No!” He ran away to look for some tasty leaves somewhere farther from home. Coming upon a tasty bush, he decided he’d try to eat some of the leaves. Just as he began to chew his first leaf, he heard some movement behind him. He turned around to face four other squirrels – known bullies.

“Hey giraffe,” one squirrel exclaimed mockingly. “You really should eat some nuts!” The little giraffe felt something hit him in the back of the head. Turning around, he saw that three more squirrels had come up behind him. They all began pelting him with nuts.

“You’re a squirrel! Learn to eat nuts!” another yelled.

Just then he heard someone loudly yell, “leave my son alone! He is a giraffe because he says he’s a giraffe, and he wants to eat leaves, let him!” She jumped at the squirrel bullies, and they all ran away.

“Thanks, mom,” said the little giraffe.

“I love you, my little giraffe,” said the mom squirrel. “I just want you to be safe and happy.” They walked home together, and the little giraffe and his mom shared a dinner of leaves and nuts.

The end.

“Thin It to Win It” weight loss competition

workWeightToday marked the end of “Thin It to Win It,” the weight loss competition we’ve been having at work. I won! I lost 41.5 lbs over 18 weeks, which was a 21.2% change in my body weight.

morningWeight

I was already trying to lose weight, but the competition made me work for it harder. Here you can see the my weight change since I started tracking. I marked the start of the competition. My weight definitely started dropping faster!

The second half to the competition was body fat. It was based on percent change in percent body fat. I had a 32.9% change in percent body fat, but I came in third actually. My friend Mario beat me at 36.4% change in percent body fat, but the winner had a 49.6% change in percent body fat! I’m not sure how accurate the device is, but as long as it’s wrong for everyone equally, I guess it’s okay. For the people who knew their body fat percentages, it seemed higher than it should be. Again, consistency was what matters.

All in all, I went from 195.5 lbs at the start of the competition to 154 lbs today! I needed to be 163 lbs to be in my normal BMI range, so I’m securely in that range now.

I feel like I didn’t change that much. I was still full, and I still ate a piece of candy almost every night. I think the big difference was that I made sure to stop eating unhealthy things that I didn’t even enjoy, and I ate more fruits and vegetables. I also proved that I wouldn’t need to go to a gym. That’d be boring and too much work. I jogged in my neighborhood and exercised in my room. I purchased one dumbbell.

I thought about celebrating by going and eating something terrible, but there really isn’t anything I cut out of my diet that I want to start eating again. Tonight I’m going out for sushi, something that I ate regularly on my diet (and before). However, I think I might have some sake, which I wouldn’t have had on the diet. Also, pancakes this weekend!

Day 7 – Hiking, Swimming, Leaving

hawaii

On our final day we went hiking in Mariner’s Ridge. On the way we met up with Alex and had some Loco Moco – rice, gravy, beef steak, and fried eggs. Mariner’s Ridge itself was a cool hike that went up to a ridgeline and then traveled between the mountaintops. It had an amazing view! Then we tried to go swimming one last time. It was a bit tough. We kept trying to find a beach, but there were problems at each. On the third or fourth beach, we found the one for us and went swimming.

After showering at home and packing, we headed to the mall to do some last minute shopping before heading to the airport. It seemed like we had a lot of time at the beginning of the trip, but the end came quickly! I hope we get the chance to visit again.

Day 6 – Tuesday at Pearl Harbor

Untitled

Tuesday we went to Pearl Harbor. We had an awkward time slot, so we didn’t get to see as much as we would have liked. We went to the USS Arizona Memorial as well as the small, at-your-own-pace museum. It was really amazing and powerful. It’s weird to think how racist we were toward Japan, and now Japan’s responsible for my paycheck. I also found it odd how they talked about never forgetting, but at the same time, some Americans slip into the same racism now towards Muslims or the Middle East. If we’re to truly never forget, we wouldn’t take out our anger on an entire race or nation.

Regardless, it was amazing to learn about Pearl Harbor and actually see the artifacts from the attack. I’d love to come back someday and see more!

Day 5 – Surfing and Luau

surfing in hawaii

Monday was our fifth day here, and we started with a surfing lesson. We went with WB Surfing, and our instructors were great. They were a lot of fun and taught us well. I was surprised that we only practiced for five to ten minutes on land before going into the water. My form was far from perfect, but I actually did it! gem took a little longer, but she did it too! Unfortunately, there weren’t any pictures of her surfing that came out well.

surfing in hawaii

We didn’t have cash to pay for our photos (because it was unexpected), so we followed them in the rain to the bank. We were all wet, but I guess that’s just a way of life here. We had lunch at Macky’s Shrimp Truck before going to the Dole Plantation. I got gem a pearl, and we got lost in the huge maze.

Then we headed to the Paradise Cove Luau! Everyone, staff and customers, was very friendly. We posed with some exotic birds, threw spears, and watched some hula. Dinner was tasty – fried chicken, salmon, pork, a variety of salads, and some tasty desserts. We ate a ton. Whoops. But it was a night.