I went to Gemma’s today and played Cranium with her, Jackie, Carrie, Joseph, and Edward. It was a lot of fun. We also watched Allison’s movies and movies Gem’s brother made. Near the end, I played Tony Hawk with her brother. It’s always good to see Gem. Come to think of it, I forgot something that she was going to let me borrow. Oh well.
My brother had come home while I was at Gem’s. I got home and found that he decided to clean his room, the room I was staying in. I specifically told Dad to tell him I was sorry it wasn’t clean and that I’d clean it. I couldn’t find a bottle cap that was important to me, but James and I looked for it together and found it. Then I decided it would be good to take a look in the trash bag. He threw out the box the Build-A-Bear came in that Gemma bought me… the box she colored in and stuff. He also threw out the bear’s tag. I really freaked out. I haven’t been so mad in a long time. The box was crushed, torn, and wet from something. I yelled and cussed a lot, and Dad came and took James into his room. I stood for a while gripping the bed, screaming and trying to break anything or hurt myself. I don’t know why he thinks he can touch my stuff. I understand that this is his room, but I don’t have a room here; my dad took it. He does stuff like give me a shelf, and then the next day, he’s moved all my stuff because he decided I should have a different shelf. God, I hate living with people so much.
Andrei picked me up, and we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Afterwards, we sat in his car and he showed me Halo 2. Cool stuff. I wasn’t really calm yet though. I just felt so angry/sad/frustrated/stressed. Then we went to the South Bay Galleria to see Flight of the Phoenix. The theater was almost empty, and it was a good movie. The movie got out around midnight, and he took me home. The whole night was on him, which was very nice of Andrei. It was good to see him again.
When I got home, I looked at the box again to see just how bad it was. I know it shouldn’t bother me this much, but it does. I felt sick to my stomach all night. When I started looking at it again, I couldn’t help but cuss out loud once more. I threw up just a little in my throat. And my dog shit in the house again tonight. She seems to be doing so all the time now. This just adds a new smell to the already smelly place. There are buckets all over the house to catch leaks in the roof. I don’t like it here, but I don’t really like the dorms either. Someday I’ll have my own place. When I came home New Year’s Eve night / early New Year’s Day morning, it wasn’t even 1:00 AM before I had screamed at my brother and fought with my dad. My brother wasn’t even here. I did it over the phone. And I fucking swear, I called because I intended to wish him a happy New Year.
Rant aside, it was nice to see Jackie, Carrie, and Edward again. It was the first time I had hung out with Joseph, and he seems like a cool guy. I hadn’t seen Andrei since summer… I’m glad I got to see a good friend again. And of course, it’s always wonderful to see Gem.
And now she just called 🙂
Hopefully I’ll calm down soon.